I recently started a new workout regimen via DVD. I love it. It’s fun, challenging, and yet doable for me. I make minor modifications but I’m able to do it—for people with disabilities, finding workouts that are doable can be difficult. The only thing I don’t like about the DVDs is that the instructor says, “Perfection is possible.” When I was in my early twenties, 90% of my motivation for exercising was vanity and 10% was health. These days my number one motivation for exercising is managing stress and fighting depression. As someone with Bipolar Disorder, exercising is one of many tools I use to proactively deal with stress, which can trigger mood swings. I also exercise to build my immunity, which is critical for people with Autoimmune Diseases. When I was 24, I was bedridden for over a year and stared at the ceiling 90% of the day. That experience has made me grateful for exercise.
#1: Be Creative
As I get up in the morning, which can sometimes take hours, I create my own motto for exercising, “Manage Stress. Fight depression!” This isn’t very catchy even if I say it in my most Kelly Kapowski, cheerleader-like voice. We probably won’t see that slogan on a fitness DVD anytime soon. Intellectually, we know that clothing catalogues are unrealistic and photo shopped. Check out this recent blunder Target made by creating a HUGE thigh gap on the models.
Come on! Even Barbie has more cellulite than that. Even though we know that the average American woman is a size 12/14, we have to be vigilant and proactive in dealing with the insidious messages the media feeds us. For every noble attempt at promoting a healthy body image (think of Dove’s Campaign for “real beauty”), there are far more detractors like the Target catalogue. In addition to the tips I talked about in this post “4 Tips for Casting off Self-Hate and Loving Your Body More,” I would add this one: Be creative. When you see unhelpful messages, turn it around.
Dealing with Unconstructive Messages
If we buy clothes, we’re going to look at clothing catalogues. Unless you stop watching TV and give up the Internet, you’re going to see advertisements. The average person sees 200 ads a day! What can you do combat unhelpful images? Aside from creating my own slogan, when the instructor says, “Perfection is possible,” I think of people like Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor who were also perfect even though they didn’t have six-pack abs. I remind myself that “perfection” can mean different things to different people.
#2: Be Assertive
The other day a male relative insulted my appearance. I was shocked because in all the insults I have received because my weight has erratically changed on meds, he was never one of the people who insulted me. He’s been on a diet recently and has been weighing himself incessantly. Over the course of two days he asked me how much weight I lost lately. I don’t weigh myself. My philosophy is: Try your best (eat right, exercise) and be happy. If I knew how much I weighed, I wouldn’t dignify that question with an answer anyway. Then he told me that he’s “lost more weight than anyone in the family.” It all sounded so Mean Girls. The last straw was when he told me I should wear Spanx. If a woman wants to wear shape-wear, that’s her prerogative but I think it’s out of line to tell someone (who hasn’t asked for advice) to wear Spanx. Finally, I said something like,
“Whatever issues you have with your own weight, do not project them on to me.”
I didn’t yell at him. But I was assertive. The insults instantly stopped. I’ve previously blogged about how a family’s hang-ups are more influential in a woman developing body image issues and eating disorders than the media. If you are confronted with people who insult you, remember that it’s more about them than you. They most likely have their own insecurities. And be assertive. In addressing the insults, we don’t have to defend ourselves by explaining why our weight is what it is.
–Your Stylist, Jessica Gimeno