Depression, Ghosting and Bipolar Disorder (FBF Video)

Hello everyone, happy Friday! Recently, a Fashionably ill ® follower reminded me of this video I did a few years ago called “Depression, Ghosting and Bipolar Disorder.” In light of this viewer’s comments, I was inspired to repost my video; consider it a #FlashbackFriday post. A viral debate on Twitter (now called x) related to the HBO TV show, Insecure, is what led to me film the video. (Spoiler alert: I only address the plot in the next 3 sentences. But if you are watching the show for the first time, you might want to skip ahead to paragraph two. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!) The main character Issa’s romantic interest (Nathan) goes missing for nine months. When Nathan reappears, he tells Issa that during that time he was struggling with his mental health and eventually was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

There was a fiery debate on social media with some people saying they would never take a someone back after that and others saying they understood and empathized with the character. According to Urban Dictionary, ghosting is:

When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You’ll mostly see them avoiding friend’s phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.

My Ghosting Experiences

I have experienced ghosting from both sides. When I was younger and my bipolar diagnosis was new, I didn’t know how to discuss it. I was diagnosed at 18. In the video, I share one experience at 19 where I ghosted someone (even though I did not want to) due to my depression. I also share my experiences when friends have gone missing for long stretches of time due to mental health struggles. My point in making the video was not telling people what to do. Every situation has its own peculiar circumstances. Each relationship is different. So, I can’t say whether you should forgive someone, resume the relationship, end it, or do something else. My goal was to explain what it feels like for people with mental health conditions–how we don’t want to go away but sometimes do despite our best intentions. And, I also know how frustrating it is to be on the other side. I share about that too; being ghosted can be painful.

The Video

The above video was uploaded in July 2020. As of this writing, it has over 10,000 views.

Have you ever been ghosted? Or ghosted someone else because of your illness?