4 Tips for Avoiding Social Media Depression

A lot of readers with bipolar disorder and autoimmune diseases have told me how depressed they feel seeing Facebook pictures—it seems like everyone else has it together and we’re just treading water.  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not bashing social media.  Through it, I’ve met so many warriors fighting a variety of illnesses. Fashionably ill is on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  But there is a social media pitfall we have to avoid: Comparing ourselves on our worst days to other people on their best days.

Facebook Isn’t Always Real

I liken Facebook to “The Greatest Hits” of a person’s life.  Even the best artist has recorded duds.  But you don’t see them on greatest hits albums.  Similarly, people usually post pictures of their engagement rings, baby sonograms, and weddings.  While people post status updates that say, “Hey, I got the promotion,” they typically don’t post things like, “I lost my job today.  Lying in bed eating potato chips.”  Sometimes people tell me they’re depressed because they feel like “everyone has someone” except for them.  I tell them that their friends have also had breakups—they just don’t post pictures of themselves drowning in Ben & Jerry’s post-breakups.  It’s important to keep perspective and regulate our use of social media when we’re not feeling well—whether pain is caused by stress,  mental illness, or flare ups of fatigue and physical pain (or all of the above).

When Social Media Amplifies Pain

A few days ago I was really depressed.   I spent 80% of the day in bed.  It happened to be Valentine’s Day although that wasn’t the cause of my depression.  I had been struggling with tremendous stress for a few days.  Of course having a chemical imbalance (from my Bipolar II) doesn’t help.  I realized how harmful it was for me to be on Facebook while I was not doing well.  It’s like, “Yay!  Another wedding ring.  Is everyone getting engaged?  WTH?  Who else landed their ‘dream job’ this week?”

I applied a lot of the tools I’ve blogged about to manage my depression like praying, music, laughter, exercise, talking to my therapist, and adhering to my prescribed medication (SSRI).  For weeks I’d been looking forward to this Valentine’s Day Masquerade Ball.  I was determined to go despite my depression.  As I was getting dressed, I decided to take before and after pictures so I could demonstrate how primer and setting spray make my makeup last 16 hours.  (I hate retouching my makeup.)  depressedfaceWhile taking my pictures, I noticed two things:  1)  Whoa!  My “depressed face” is identical to my “PCOS face.”  That’s the face I get when Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome has left me screaming in pain until 3 am.  My picture is further proof that mental illnesses are “real illnesses”—as real as physical pain!  2)  The second picture is my “best face.”  It’s the kind of picture people post on Facebook.  People don’t usually share pictures like my depressed face.  However, at some point, everyone feels lonely, endures a breakup, gets laid off, or bombs the interview.  We may not see pictures of those moments but they do exist!

Going to the dance made me feel better—not “fine and dandy”—but better.  I liked spending time with friends.  And dancing releases endorphins—those “feel good hormones” that help us fight depression.

4 Tips for Avoiding Social Media Depression

1.  If you’re in a bad place, consider getting off of Facebook temporarily:  Try calling your friend instead of looking at his pictures.  You can also call your therapist.

2. Use social media support groups:  If you can get past your newsfeed, find community in groups.  I’m in over a dozen closed support groups on Facebook for bipolar disorder, PCOS, Myasthenia Gravis (MG), and a wide variety of autoimmune diseases.  Through Facebook, I’ve learned so much about managing MG.  Honestly, I wouldn’t know anyone with this rare illness if it were not for the Internet.

3.  Go out with people:  Actually talking to someone face to face (as opposed to gchat) is powerful.  We can’t do this alone.

4.  Find an activity that releases endorphins:  In our online society, we’re not as physically active as we should be.  But endorphins, whether they come from exercise or laughter, help us fight depression.

–Your Stylist,

Jessica Gimeno

BONUS: Download your free Depression Tool Kit by signing up here at www.fashionablyillgift.com.  The kit comes with a map of the top 10 tricks for getting stuff done when you’re depressed + 4 Scripts for explaining your mood disorder to loved ones, professors, and employers.

JessicaGimeno

Hi, I have five illnesses--bipolar disorder, myasthenia gravis (neuromuscular autoimmune disease), polycystic ovarian syndrome, asthma, and psoriasis. Most of the organs in my body are affected. I'm dedicated to being a stylist for sick women. As someone who has experienced changes in my appearance due to my 12 meds (including Prednisone), I know how hard it can be when your face and body change overnight. (In fact, because of treatment, between 2008 to 2010, I went from a size 0 to a size 10. While I lost the weight, there are permanent changes in my face and body, which I've grown to appreciate.) My blog will also help women deal with other issues like surviving chronic pain and fatigue. Healthy people can also use this blog as a window into what life with illness is like. Let this website be a place where we can draw strength from each other despite our illnesses and find solutions to our everyday challenges!

4 thoughts on “4 Tips for Avoiding Social Media Depression

  • February 19, 2014 at 5:17 pm
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    Jessica, I agree with everything you say
    (Most of what you mention applies to men too!). I was diagnosed having depression and anxiety a couple years ago, and using the same “ingredients”
    that you mentioned, I feel much better now!

    Reply
    • March 4, 2014 at 1:47 pm
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      Hey Stephen, thanks for sharing part of your story. I’m glad to hear that you are doing much better. And I agree with you that everything in this post applies to men and women. Hope we find a way to do another online party soon. Blessings, Jessica

      Reply
  • March 26, 2015 at 10:36 am
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    Re talking to a friend and going out

    March has been as down in the dumps of depression as ever for me. I do believe my friend saw this when she popped in one day unexpectedly. She pushed and wouldn’t take no for an answer for me to go with her to just one store. Once I was out I started to feel better emotionally…we went to 3 stores! It’s 3 days later and I’m still feeling better. You’re bang on with this post. Thanks for sharing. Oh, and I’m glad you pushed yourself to go out and have some fun.

    Reply
  • July 7, 2015 at 4:58 pm
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    I just read this and i often get social media depressed. Ive often thought of deleting my accounts because i dont have mUch support in social Media.

    Ive taken breaks And come back Later. I find thAt helps the mosT. I have Ptsd and anxiety also so making friends out side of social media has been nearly Impossible. I’m pretty introverted so its ok. 😉 But breaks are something i have to do often..

    Reply

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